I was just thinking about the heyday of brightly colored and eye-wateringly patterned polyester golfing pants that pervaded the USA during the 1970s (as you do).

This era is famously associated with loud, flamboyant golf fashion—bold plaids, neon colors, and wide-legged polyester pants—popularized by pro golfers like Doug Sanders, Chi-Chi Rodríguez, and Johnny Miller, as well as by the general cultural trends of the time.

Golf attire then reflected a broader 1970s aesthetic: expressive, synthetic, and unashamedly flashy. Thankfully, the popularity of these polyester perversions started to wane in the 1980s as styles shifted toward more subdued and athletic looks with better-performing fabrics.

The reason I’m waffling on about this here is that I was just chatting with a friend about the myriad ramifications associated with a zombie apocalypse. As part of this conversation, I was reminded of an occasion about six or seven years ago when the HVAC system at our house died and had to be replaced in the heart of the summer.

“What on Earth does this have to do with zombies?” I hear you cry. Well, I enjoy dystopian fiction and films as much as the next anthropoid. Prior to my HVAC failing, whilst reading books like The Stand by Stephen King or graphic novels like The Walking Dead by writer Robert Kirkman and artist Tony Moore, I used to envisage a world in which there were relatively few survivors (of which I was one).

Although I didn’t consciously think about it, I subconsciously believed that new clothes would be “there for the taking,” as it were. The idea was that when my jeans wore out, for example, I could simply wander into a store and pull a new pair off the rack.

However, returning to my failed HVAC, by the time it had been replaced and the new model was up and running (this took a week or so), there was a notable whiff of mustiness in my bedroom closet. That was when it struck me that—in the absence of air conditioning—unattended clothes wouldn’t long survive in a hot and humid environment.

In turn, this led me to the realization that my post-apocalyptic options would be limited—either to create new garments fashioned from readily available materials like squirrel skins or resort to wearing 1970s-era polyester golfing pants, which will essentially last forever.

When you think about it, this is a topic that has not been fully explored in the post-apocalyptic genre. While it’s certainly true to say that the creators of Z Nation led the way with concepts like zombie babies and suicide zombies, they sadly failed to envisage a world of survivors striving to be inconspicuous whilst sporting ostentatious golfing attire.

What’s that you say? “This is something I wouldn’t have thought about in a thousand years!” Well, in that case, you’re very welcome.