I don’t know about you, but whenever I receive an email, I do enjoy reading any funny or interesting quotes the author decided to include in their sig (“signature”) on the bottom. Every now and again, I see one that I want to add to my own collection. I do try to be selective, but – even so – the quotation portion of my sig is now longer than the body of the majority of my emails. The reason I mention this here is that I just added a new one – the first in many months. Prior to this new addition, my sig quotes were as follows:
“If you want your dreams to be as fascinating to other people as they are to you, don’t mention it’s a dream until the end of the story.” — @TheWoodenSlurpy (Alexa) “The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’ but ‘That’s funny…'” — Isaac Asimov “Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” — G. K. Chesterton “The mome rath isn’t born that could outgrabe me!” — Nicol Williamson “Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy when toasted and taste good with ketchup.” — Anonymous “It is sometimes difficult to determine if quotes found on the Internet are genuine or not.” — Abraham Lincoln.
Earlier today, I was posting links to my latest column on LinkedIn and Twitter when I saw a must-have quote from SparkFun Electronics. This quote, which has now been added to the top of my sig quote stack, reads as follows:
There’s a specific kind of unhinged individual who, in the face of crisis, thinks to themselves, “Finally, I can learn the bagpipes.” — SparkFun Electronics
What can I say, except “I resemble that remark”? The rest of the entry pointed to a column on Hackaday.com describing how to Build Your Own Bagpipes Using a Garbage Bag and Recorder. Happily, there’s also this video on YouTube.  
Even better, I have both a recorder and a garbage bag close to hand (my wife [Gina the Gorgeous] is going to be so pleased). Of course, just the thought of the bagpipes makes me think of this video of the Red Hot Chilli Pipers playing We Will Rock You and Eye of the Tiger.  
And, of course, this caused me to reflect back on this video of Darth Vader in a kilt, riding a unicycle, playing flaming bagpipes (and that’s not something you expect to find yourself saying very often).  
This reminds me of the saying that “A gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipes… but doesn’t!” In turn, this reminds me of a bagpipe joke as follows:
There’s a Scotsman who is part of a bagpipe marching band. Every Saturday afternoon, they march around the town center playing their bagpipes. After they’ve finished, they all retire to the pub for a few well-earned beers. On one such occasion, following the march, our man is sitting at the bar quaffing his pint when the color drains from his face. He leaps to his feet and races out of the bar shouting, “Oh my God, I left my car unlocked and my bagpipes are on the back seat.” A few minutes later, he returns a broken man. He got there too late. Passersby have filled his car with unwanted sets of bagpipes.
Try to control your mirth. It’s much better if (1) I’m telling it live and (2) you’ve already drunk a lot of beer. However, I fear we are in danger of wandering off into the weeds. If you would care to do so, I would love for you to share (a) your favorite sig quotes, (b) your favorite tidbits of bagpipe trivia, (c) your favorite bagpipe videos or cartoons, and (d) your favorite bagpipe jokes.